Dying, Only Not
by Tenkan Star
Summary: Haru gets sick. No big deal, it's happened before. It's just a cold, so it shouldn't get too worse, right? Wrong. And Makoto, predictably, isn't having this shit.


He'd been feeling pretty bad the past few days, but today...today sucked.

Haruka coughed in the back of his throat, trying to be as quiet as possible. He'd gotten colds plenty of times before, but they were light ones, involving just a mildly sore throat and an occasional sneeze and disappearing after a day or two. This one seemed a bit worse, and Haru didn't want to draw attention to himself. If Makoto got wind of the fact that he was actually sick and not just a little sniffly, he'd go into full mother-hen mode and Haru'd never hear the end of it. Worse, he wouldn't be able to swim for a few days or more.

Haru usually was under the impression that water was a cure-all, since that was what it seemed like whenever he got sick. He'd just slip into a pool or the ocean or his bathtub and sit there for a bit, then come out feeling just fine. That was why he was at swim practice this particular day, rather than making some excuse and skipping to go make himself feel better in the privacy of his own home. However, to his genuine bewilderment, swimming wasn't making him feel better. Every time he went underwater and tried a few strokes, his head would spin and his chest tighten, and after only a few seconds he would feel a premature longing for air and be forced to return to the surface. It was rather irritating, not to mention worrying. Sickness had never impeded his ability to swim before.

He was sitting on the side of the pool now, watching Nagisa and Rei practicing relay exchanges. Makoto was standing next to Gou, who had a stopwatch in hand, and was helping her assess the other two's progress. Neither of them invited Haru to help them, likely because they simply didn't need it or figured he was happier where he was. Both were technically true, but 'happy' was stretching it a bit.

To take his mind off the growing migraine pounding in his head and the aching in his chest, Haru decided to do as the captain and manager were doing and looked to observe Nagisa and Rei. Rei's kick off the wall needed work; his feet kept slipping and it cost him acceleration. Both he and Nagisa had a habit of eagerly jumping in too early, before the other had even touched back at the start. Haruka frowned (and coughed, but nobody heard). Nagisa has swum relays before, he should know better than to be so enthusiastic at the cost of performance. Rei could be forgiven as a newcomer to the whole thing, but seeing as he'd been putting in so much practice lately such amateurism seemed ridiculous.

Lost in his thoughts (therefore succeeding in his objective) Haru didn't even realize his name was being called until suddenly Nagisa was out of the water and prodding his ribs.

"Haru-chaaan," the small blond drawled, "you aren't paying attention."

"I was," Haru replied, in his typically short manner. For maybe the first time recently he was glad of his quiet nature. Otherwise his clipped responses would surely come off as unusual.

Nagisa pouted. "I called your name. Three times, then I came over. You were staring way off into space."

_ At you, actually_, was what Haru meant to say, but what ended up coming out was a sort of hoarse suspiration. At Nagisa's slightly stunned and confused look, he awkwardly cleared his scratchy throat and tried again.

"What do you need?"

Thank God for his underclassman and his ability to not pry when he knew, deep down, that Haru really wasn't in the mood. "Gou-chan wants to compared our times. It's easier to do two at a time, or something, so you wanna race me? Mako-chan and Rei-chan are gonna go together."

Haru raked his gaze over the expanse of the pool. Considering today he couldn't stay underwater for more than a few seconds before needing to return to the surface, racing was not a good idea. Then again, if he didn't, everyone would definitely know something was wrong because he was Haruka Nanase and since when did Haruka Nanase turn down the opportunity to swim, anywhere or with anyone?

Damn it.

"Alright," he sighed, swallowing a heavy cough. Nagisa blinked at his croaky voice but made no comment, instead jumping back into the pool and paddling over to his lane. After a moment's hesitation Haru went over as well; the water felt far too cold and heavier then usual.

Makoto, holding a second watch, gave him an encouraging smile as he took his place. He didn't look worried or suspicious and Haru clung to that, thinking of how that smile would disappear if Makoto thought something was wrong with him and using the image as motivation.

"It's not an actual race," Gou was scolding Nagisa, "We're just recording average times."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on Haru-chan, let's go!"

Their manager blew her whistle and the two of them kicked off, Haru putting as much power into his kick as he could. He managed to get a lead start on Nagisa, of only because of his longer reach, but the younger boy caught up around the middle of their lap. Haru struggled to breath, his chest constricting uncomfortably every time he turned his head to gasp for air, and his limbs tensed and burned in protest. Nonetheless he pushed himself forward, dragging himself through the water which should have been so smooth and welcoming to catch up with his underclassman who had never won a race against him _ever_. Haru didn't really have a competitive spirit, having always preferred to swim just for the sake of swimming, but he knew he'd get strange looks and questions if he just let Nagisa win and didn't put in his best.

He regained some lost speed at their second kick off the opposite wall, but the tips of his fingers barely reached Nagisa's shoulder. Haru strained himself, holding his breath longer than usual and thrusting forward with all his might. However, even before he touched the wall at the end, he knew Nagisa had beaten him.

Haru stood and fought to catch his breath as Nagisa did the same, though the latter's breathing was noticeably less labored. Haru's chest ached and his head pounded, and he blinked rapidly to clear away black spots in front of his eyes.

"Haru-chan, did you go easy on me?!" Nagisa asked accusingly the moment he could.

"It wasn't an actual race, you know," Gou said, sounding slightly confused. "We're just recording times. You didn't have to go easy on him."

Nagisa turned his frown onto her. "What are you saying, Gou-chan? I'd be competition for Haru-chan in a race, he wouldn't have to go easy on me anyway!"

"It's _Kou_, you know, and anyway..."

_ Please stop being so loud_, Haru thought but didn't say, and instead focused on getting his breathing under control without dissolving into a coughing, gasping mess. Nagisa and Gou continued to bicker, with Rei unsuccessfully attempting to play peacekeeper, and their sharp voices made his head ache worse. _Shut up shut up shut __**up**__—_

"Haru!" Makoto's voice was welcome amidst the piercing chaos, and Haru latched on to it to drown out the others. He looked up to see his friend extending his hand towards him, ready to help him out of the water like usual. He gratefully took it, allowing Makoto to pull him out of the pool, but the moment his feet touched solid ground he felt his head spinning. He grabbed Makoto's arm to steady himself and the taller boy looked down at him in surprise.

"Haru?" he asked. "Are...you okay?"

"Head rush," Haru forced out. "I'm going to sit down..."

As it was, he barely took two steps before his knees buckled and he saw the poolside rushing up to meet his face. He collapsed to the ground, and everything went black.

Makoto's horrified yell could be heard as far as the track field.


End file.
